Doggerel Verses
Sexuality, Satire, Crudity, Commonplace,
Sing-Song, Limericks, Irreverence, Jokes,
Short Verse, Rhymes, Songs, Trite, Low,
Comical Verses, Irregular Rhythms,
Bad Habits, Bodily Functions, Cussing
Adults Only: Not for the Squeamish
By Mike Garofalo
1.
Pleasures at Hand
An activity quite handy
always available to me
don't cost a cent
nothing to go out and buy
clean, simple, ready at hand
no need for another's help
convenient, accessible,
personal, private, alone
no need to travel anywhere
poor or rich, who cares,
safe and healthy
day or night at any time
no need to talk or listen.
Lots of fun, pleasures free
all you need: an active mind
a creative imagination
erotically inclined
pacing with your hot hand,
Yes, Masturbation's grand.
2.
hungry for love
thirst for a kiss
eager to suck
ready to fuck—
wishing for luck
3.
He farted
really loud—
campfire laughter
4.
a plop of shit
down the outhouse hole—
no paper
5.
The silence of decades dead
echo endlessly
in every muscle and vein;
Her kisses are remembered
by my tender love lips.
6.
The desire to smoke cannabis
in my deep blood brain
soaked from habits
unrestrained;
the urges slowly leave in weeks
but guilt still leaves a scar.
7.
Jetty stones, rocky levees,
embrace the River
Columbia to the Sea;
Seagulls and noisy geese
shit on the dirt levees.
8.
crawling under the house
sewer pipe broke
puddles of stinking crap...
fixing, reconnecting, glued;
spreading sand on the smell.
9.
She played the Dominatrix
in bdsm sex games
for fun—
he knelt naked before Her
She slapped him some.
10.
fewer painful
confessionals to share—
secretive
closed
unpacked dirty underwear
11.
hot chick
encouraged me
to kiss and lick tenderly
as she grabbed and stoked my
stiff dick
12.
Laugh at the dying of the Light
Embrace the Uncertain Night
Useless to Rage and Rage
Boozing your guts away
Rather Face the Fucking Day
13.
She talked dirty
he jacked off
She spit on his face
he shot his rocks off
14.
Father Priest once
counseled me—
while on my knees
in the dim confessional box.
Stopped kneeling for sanity!
15.
Punished in Eternal Hell...
for eating carne on Friday?
for reading banned Voltaire?
for jacking off alone?
for doubting Father Priest?
Ridiculous unjust nonsensical
implausibilities
abandoned 65 year ago.
16.
Not sweet
not sour
delicious sticky
tasty
cunt juice devoured
17.
picking boogers
from my nose—
she chided me
for crudity
when not alone
18.
a little groan
piss flowed—
prostate slow
19.
So, what's so interesting
about your sex life, or
mine for that matter;
that we should want to
write poems about our orgasms,
or our lover's orgasms,
or how we fell in or out of love,
or our messy bed covers,
or our smells and tastes,
or our intimate confessions,
or our wild kinky escapades,
or our sexual distastes,
or our messy affairs,
or impotence,
or sexual
ecstasies,
or LGBT loves or hates,
or lost lovers,
or all that sexual ho hum stuff.
All those old fancy sonnets,
about sexual love ...
Yawn!
Let some other old poet write,
wonderfully and cleverly,
about his/her getting laid.
I just write prose porn
and get paid.
20.
Sexual Disciplines
She held Her whip in hand,
gave Her Commands—
He bowed and obeyed
like a horny toady slave.
Playing Top-bottom bdsm games.
She played the Dominatrix
in kinky sex games
for fun—
he knelt naked before Her
She slapped him some.
She talked dirty,
he jacked off.
She spit on his face,
he shot his rocks off.
Humiliated!
He bowed down
licked her heels
kissed her feet;
fetish dreams
of worshipping.
Doggerel Verses
Notes, Research, Bibliography,
Links, Sources, Favorites
Doggerel: "A low, or trivial, form of verse, loosely constructed and often irregular, but effective because of its simple mnemonic rhyme and loping meter. It appears in most literatures and societies as a useful form for comedy and satire. It is characteristic of children’s game rhymes from ancient times to the present, and of most nursery rhymes."
- Britannica
Doggerel, or doggerel, is poetry that is irregular in rhythm and in rhyme, often deliberately for burlesque or comic effect. Alternatively, it can mean verse which has a monotonous rhythm, easy rhyme, and cheap or trivial meaning. The word is derived from the Middle English doggerel, probably a derivative of dog. In English, it has been used as an adjective since the 14th century and a noun since at least 1630. Appearing since ancient times in the literatures of many cultures, doggerel is characteristic of nursery rhymes and children's songs."
- Wikipedia
"Which poets wrote the best doggerel of all time? Who wrote the best doggerel in the English language? Ironically, the greatest writer of English poetry was also a lover and master of doggerel: William Shakespeare! Other masters of English doggerel include Anonymous, Hilaire Belloc, Robert Burns, Lewis Carroll, Geoffrey Chaucer, Robert Frost, Mother Goose, Rudyard Kipling, Edwin Lear, Spike Milligan, Ogden Nash, Dr. Seuss, John Skelton and Mark Twain.
I believe there are two types of doggerel: (1) poetry so inept it makes us cringe, and (2) entertaining, tongue-in-cheek poetry that makes us wince, smile, chuckle and/or giggle."
- The Best Doggerel of All Time
25 Steps and Beyond: Collected Works
At the Edges of the West, Volume 1
Highway 101 and Hwy 1: Pacific Coast
At the Edges of the West, Volume 2
Highway 99 and Interstate 5
Cuttings: Tercets, Haiku, Epigrams
Poetry Research by Mike Garofalo
Mike Garofalo lives in Vancouver, Washington.
He worked for 50 years in city and county
public
libraries, and in elementary
schools.
He graduated with
degrees in
philosophy,
library science, and education. He has been
a web publisher since 1998.
25 Steps and Beyond: Collected Works
This document was last edited, revised,
reformatted, added to, relinked,
changed, improved, or modified
by Mike Garofalo
on March 24 2025.